The Potato Chip Wars of Lancaster County - It's all about the lard

You know, I've been extolling the virtues of moderate doses of rendered animal fat in my own diet for years. Not because I think it’s good for me, but just because it tastes good! To paraphrase the words of my good friend and food partner-in-crime Glory Bechtold, "Well, butter buns and call me a biscuit" somebody other than the French finally agrees with me. If you actually believe all that desiccated, low fat, “healthy” junk food either tastes good or is good for you – you’d better poke your head back in the sand. Don't fear the fat! According to the New York Times, lard might just be the new health food.

I had heard rumor there was a war going on in Lancaster County Pennsylvania – a potato chip war. At least five brands of old fashioned lard-cooked potato chips are still produced in the heart of Pennsylvania Dutch country and they have the local populace firmly divided. I wanted to volunteer for battle, but I couldn’t find the rumored contraband chips among the piles of mass produced potato pulp found in every gas station and grocery store east of the Alleghany tunnel. The problem was that I was just too embarrassed to stop and ask anyone where to find them. I could only imagine the sad, patronizing looks, clucking tongues and surreptitious looks to the refrigerator door for that county poison control/mental health service magnet that used to come with the old vinyl telephone book covers.

Today was going to be different. I’d already completed all of my pick-ups and appointments and it was only two-thirty in the afternoon. I knew they were close…I imagined that I’d been smelling them ever since I left Chester - maybe it was just that new biodiesel fueled FedEx truck I'd been following for the last twenty-five miles.

Of course, why didn’t I think of it before? It would just the kind of snack food you’d find in a non-chain, independent grocery store. Quick, turn left into Weaver’s Market on the old Reading Road, park the truck and trailer in the side lot away from the Amish buggies and the more dangerous grandmothers in their late husband’s 1978 LeSabres, march past the snack bar with today’s stuffed pork chop and  pepper slaw special for $3.99 and go directly to potato chip heaven.

Oh my lord!!! Herr’s, Gibble’s, Good’s, Grandma Utz’s, and Kay & Ray’s - all cooked in locally rendered Pennsylvania “Prime Processed Lard”. I bought three bags of Kay & Ray’s (two regular and one dark) because I loved the packaging: 1940’s art work and a great old, corny slogan “Gee they’re Delicious”. They weren’t lying. Moderately crunchy, (unlike those supposed kettle cooked things the big conglomerates churn out that try to distract us from their lack of taste with all of that noise) lightly salty and having a subtle, almost imperceptible, chicken-fried steak taste. It was almost food porn – oh, did I say that out loud?

Next time I think I’ll try Gibble’s (I like the name) or maybe Good’s – they claim to be the oldest (1886) potato chip maker in Pennsylvania. Or maybe Grandma Utz’s, how could that be wrong?